


When We Were Young

by lovinniel



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23363020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovinniel/pseuds/lovinniel
Summary: It was cold this late of night at Seoul. And yet Kang Daniel was shivering for a very different reason.
Relationships: Kang Daniel/Ong Seongwu
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	When We Were Young

Kang Daniel had been feeling uneasy ever since he woke up this morning. Today he was scheduled to perform at a certain show for his comeback, his first ever since some setbacks he experienced for quite a while. Little things short, everyone wanted it to be good. His manager wanted it to be good, his teams wanted it to be good, and he, himself, wanted it to be nothing less than spectacular. But that is _not_ the reason the nation’s center was nervous.

That reason would lie with Ong Seongwoo, or the one whom he might share the stage and the spotlight with later at the show. Now that one would certainly not be the first. Close friend prior to their band disbanding one year ago and even further before, Kang Daniel and Ong Seongwoo shared more histories than they would let people believe, on and off the stage.

And they had met on stage after they ceased to be in one band; that tiny moment they shared on an award show last autumn sent their mutual fans over their heads. For casual fans it was an endearing moment that drew their ‘oohs’ and ‘awws’ as two long separated former bandmates share handshakes. For others that had, as far as Daniel knew from his research, ‘worshipped them more religiously’, it was a moment that fueled their somewhat indecent imaginations. Daniel had to stop researching after he had gotten to that point, not because what he had read scared him though, but because they were simply too good to be true, and he had enough people feeding his hallucinations.

The milder and loftier part of their fans reactions had not gone unnoticed by his managers as Daniel found his comeback date set just a day apart from Seongwoo. He wondered whether they expected from that. _Certainly they did not expect us to compete with each other!_ Perhaps they had hoped to see some interactions going on and that would raise the buzz beneficial to both artists. Daniel wondered whether the older male had gotten anything to do with it. But he had to be satisfied with pondering because he didn’t have the time to reach out and asked the questions to his hyung. Truth be spoken, Daniel had not gotten the opportunity to say anything to Seongwoo hyung ever since their meeting at said award show.

He had tried to call the morning after but it was Seongwoo manager who picked up to say that his artist was recuperating from exhaustion. He tried again at some point later but then Seongwoo was busy filming at a foreign country. Every other time he tried to reach Seongwoo, his phone calls were met with the manager’s apologies and his texts went unread. They were surely doing their best preparing for their own comeback; Daniel himself was practicing north of twelve hours a day. And Seongwoo didn’t have one bit of a time to receive his call? He didn’t even called Daniel back. It was nothing at all. It drove him mad. It made him angry. What had he done to ever deserve being buffed away? Weren’t they the bestest of friend? _Weren’t they more?_

Daniel had his phone already in his hand; his fingers pushed on numbers based solely on muscle memory. I shouldn’t be angry, Daniel thought to himself, or should I? _Seongwoo must have been..._ The beep distracted him from making excuses, and it wasn’t exactly easy to make one, but more pleasant than thinking a reasonable explanation. Daniel waited on and on; he could feel mixture of barely identifiable emotions rising up inside him.

“The number you are calling is...” Daniel hung up the call. He didn’t knew what he felt before but right now one came out dominant. He was angry.

* * *

_There he was._

Daniel performed well. He didn’t feel like he’s going to win the vote, but that’s fine with him because he had an entirely another issue at hand: he had not met Seongwoo at all. The older was nowhere to be seen backstage; curious since Daehwi kept gushing about how cool Seongwoo looked in his outfit tonight. There were talks about Seongwoo around the corridors and waiting rooms as well from what Daniel overheard during usual bows routine. But he had not met Seongwoo. He had not looked how ‘cool’ Seongwoo’s outfit. He couldn’t even get to see that face, the absurdly pretty one with the stars clustering on his cheek.

Had his hyung been avoiding him? But of course that much was already obvious from nonexistent response to texts and calls. The question ‘why’ was more important, and Daniel also felt that he had a gist of what drove his hyung away. It made Daniel felt nauseous; he didn’t like the feeling that he had wronged someone by his actions, moreover someone he put somewhere close to his heart. Daniel knew he had no right to be angry but that’s what he felt now. He knew he couldn’t fix everything to their likings and even if he could, Seongwoo literally gave him no chances with all the missed calls.

_I wanted to see him so badly._ It was repeated over and over again in Daniel’s head, each more powerful than before.

But the first time Daniel got to see Seongwoo was during the older’s stage and it wasn’t that good for his heart. It beat fiercely when he saw the slender pose, wrapped in black suit. He could swear the temperature went up a few degrees and he felt feverish just by looking at the older’s performance. Daniel was reminded of how much he loved the way Seongwoo dance and sway. His hyung’s body seemed to have bulked a little, he noted and then quickly covered his ear as he felt his face flushed. How long was the last time he ever touched that body? How long had Daniel been deprived of its warmth?

The stage ended too soon for Daniel’s liking and by then his anger had all but abated. There is only one thing left in Daniel’s mind right now. One thing that should have been clear for him if not for his stubborn pride: _I missed him_.

Kang Daniel had missed Ong Seongwoo. With all his heart and his mind, he missed his hyung.

Thus when all performers gathered at the end of the show, Daniel swiftly took the place beside the older. He didn’t need to be a scientist to tell that the older suddenly tensed in his presence, not even willing to throw a glance, let alone a smile or small talk, at Daniel. _That sucks_ , Daniel thought, suddenly aware of how visibly awkward they would look right now in front of the fans. They should make an interaction or two so that it didn’t look weird.

But whenever Daniel tried to look at Seongwoo, the older immediately looked away. His hand brushed against Seongwoo once, the faint, feeble touch alone was enough to stir Daniel’s insides, but he felt Seongwoo quickly withdrawn his hand as if even the slightest contact might bring him bad omen. It hurt Daniel much, much more than it should have been.

There stood to his right someone he had once cherished so much, whose company he constantly seek, and found. Someone who not only shared his joy but his perils as well, who he knew would stay beside him in both his finest time and his poorest. Nobody had to go to that length for Daniel, but Seongwoo did, even when Daniel didn’t ask him too, even when Daniel asked him not too.

After months of not keeping contact, a foot was all that separated them, and yet it seemed to Daniel like there was this wall of ice sturdily stood between them; its coldness stung his sides and chilled him to the bones. Daniel shivered in the middle of the hot and densely packed stage. He had to talk to Seongwoo and make things right.

* * *

“Hyung! Seongwoo hyung!” Daniel knew his voice was raised and he was certain it would draw unnecessary attention, just as much as he’s sure it would reach Seongwoo loud and clear. Seongwoo, who was already on the end of the corridor, ever so slightly upped his pace and vanished at the end of the corridor, he walked on as if there was not somebody calling his name.

Daniel cursed inwardly and sprint pass his colleagues, muttering excuses as he felt his sunbaes showering him with indignations. It was to be expected since he had just bellowed at someone older without honorifics, but Daniel couldn’t care less. In a blink he had arrived at the end of the corridor and saw Seongwoo walking away at another corridor to his left. Thanking God for making him a long-legged being, Daniel closed their distance in only a few leaps. The older was in a middle of turning around to the sound of someone approaching when Daniel snatched him at his elbow and dragged him to the nearest room. By the time the older realized he was being ungracefully kidnapped and Daniel felt resistance, they had both entered a waiting room and the door had been closed behind him, trapping them both in a fortunately empty room.

Daniel sensed that Seongwoo was feeling far less than fortunate; he could almost hear rage seething from the beautiful creature standing in front of him. Now that they were finally in the same room, Daniel felt remarkably foolish to have shouted in the middle of crowded backstage. It would certainly pissed Seongwoo off and that couldn’t have been good to start a conversation anew after three months absence. Daniel decided he should start with an apology.

“Hyung, I’m-”

“You asshole.” Seongwoo cut deep into Daniel with his words and it silenced whatever he had intended to say. “What have I ever done to you to ever deserve this?”

Daniel looked at his hyung aghastly. “What have you- what are you talking about, hyung. I’m the one who was supposed to ask that. I tried to reach you for days. Did you not see my texts and missed calls? Did your manager not tell you? Fuck, why didn’t you call me back?”

Seongwoo’s words hurt, perhaps even more so because it confirmed what Daniel had been trying to deny for months: that he brought this upon themselves; that he was the one who damaged their- their- _friendship_. Daniel felt familiar warmness pooled around his eyes.

“Why should I call you back? So that you could bring it up and brag about it in some event?”

Daniel felt lost. “What? I- I don’t understand.”

“Of course you are. It’s not your fault. You know nothing about it. It was all the manager’s doing. That’s what you wanted to say, isn’t it?” Seongwoo’s words were full of venom. “But I understand the games you’re playing, Kang Daniel. I know it all too well”

“What are you talking about? I wasn’t playing anything.” Daniel was more afraid than he was confused.

“Yes you did. You played me.”

Ong Seongwoo had never looked so dangerous. The two black eyes staring at Daniel was darkened with malice and the strength of his jaw clenching hardened his face so that it looked like a feline beast ready to pounce. There was no hint of fondness in Seongwoo’s piercing glare that Daniel had gotten used to.

“I- I wasn’t playing you.” Even Daniel thought his voice rattled like a cornered mouse.

“What did you say?”

“I said I wasn’t playing you, hyung,” Daniel said louder. “What made you think I- How can you think that I- I’m- _playing_ you?” He trembled near the end.

Daniel might not want to admit it later but he was truly hurt now. Never in his life had he ever thought of Seongwoo as a toy. His hyung should have known better. All the nights they spent together and Seongwoo thought Daniel was _playing_ him? What kind of madness was that!

“I’m not a fool, Kang Daniel. I had enough of being forced to have matching concepts, attend the same events. Now you wanted to comeback at the exact same week as me.”

“What? Are you saying you don’t want us to meet?”

“I don’t want to be mere trophy to display, Daniel. I don’t want to be used just to boost your popularity. I’m sick of having people cheer on our fake friendship.”

“ _Fake friends?_ ” Daniel heated. His voice was painted with anguish. “Is that what you think we are, Seongwoo? Is that how low you think of me? That I would _use_ you just as some gimmick to boost my popularity?”

Seongwoo laughed derisively and it was maddening. “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault, right? Our nation center can’t be doing something like that.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Seongwoo.” Daniel was angered and hurt at the absurdity of Seongwoo’s logic. “It never crossed my mind even once to use you. Fuck it! You are my friend. Do you really think I’ve been lying up until now?”

It was brief but Daniel didn’t mistake it. For a fleeting moment Seongwoo’s face betrayed an expression that Daniel had not seen for like an eternity. When they were in the band sometimes Daniel caught Seongwoo stared into him with this same look. It was a look of longing, Daniel had once concluded, and the thought haunted his sleeps for days.

_What the hell was going on, Seongwoo?_

“Yeah, Daniel. We are _friend_ , aren’t we? Just fellow artists who happened to have been in a same band once and now chanced upon a similarly timed comeback.” Seongwoo started walking towards the door. “Nice meeting you, Kang Daniel-ssi.”

Daniel would not have it. He grabbed Seongwoo’s arms firmly. The older wasn’t thrilled. “Let me go, Daniel.”

“Do you really want to leave, hyung?”

“Is it not clear enough? Now let me go before-”

“I missed you, you know.” His voice was small. He had not wanted to say that, no matter how correct that would describe his feeling right now. Daniel was holding back tears for a while and it looked like he had started failing. He expected Seongwoo to lash out at those words. Daniel waited and braced for the incoming assaults. But it didn’t come.

They stood in silence. Daniel gazed down to where his hand still latched on Seongwoo. He felt the muscle tensed beneath the fabric. His eyes had gone wet for sure but the tears were still kept at bay. A minute had never felt this long; at the end of it Daniel knew he couldn’t keep his emotions much longer. But as he relaxed his grip, Daniel heard Seongwoo’s voice.

“Me too.” It was small and strained, like he had not intended to let it out.

Daniel shot his gaze up at Seongwoo and he saw those two sparkling dark orbs staring back at him. His cheek felt wet. Seongwoo’s looked wet.

What was the right thing to do? Daniel wondered. His heart willed him to close onto Seongwoo but his stupid mind preached caution; somewhere inside him burnt a desire to have that beauty in front of him right then and there: just have him and be done with it.

_Will Seongwoo be mad?_

Daniel cursed himself for actually thinking about that as a possible scenario. There would be no saving to their friendship- relationship- fuck! For whatever it was they had.

Another long minute went pass until Seongwoo broke their silence again.

“I’m sorry.” Tears streamed down Seongwoo’s both cheek more freely.

It was enough to startle Daniel and he found himself stumbling for words. Seongwoo shouldn’t be the one apologizing. Whatever fault he had done Daniel, it seemed so wrong right now.

“N- no. Hyung. Why would you say sorry? I’m the one who should apologize to you.” _For... what?_

“I shouldn’t be missing you, Niel-ah. I’m so sorry.”

Daniel lost it when he heard that endearing call; to hell with cautions. He pulled his hyung slowly into him, into his embrace.

It felt so right.

“Do you have time tonight, hyung-ah?”

* * *

Ong Seongwoo sat silently behind his manager who also doubled as his driver. The man didn’t say a single word ever since he got in the car, which was so out of character for a usually chatty manager for an even chattier artist, though Seongwoo was sure he was to blame. Seongwoo had called him after the show to free his schedule for one night and the manager had immediately lost his mind; granted, it was nearly an impossible request in the middle of first promotion week. They went into a shouting contest until one coordi noona braved herself to mediate the fight before somebody lose an eye. At last the manager conceded a mere one hour of Seongwoo’s night; he insisted to drive Seongwoo to wherever he so urgently needed to be and threatened to break into the room if Seongwoo was to exceed a single minute.

Seongwoo promptly accepted the deal. He hoped whatever would happen tonight – Seongwoo chastised himself for letting his imagination ran wild – it would suffice in less than an hour.

Their car stopped in the middle of a deserted alley. Next to their car was a building that looked like it had been abandoned; Seongwoo wished the owner was just indolent.

Daniel had told him after their ‘altercation’ that he would prepare something. He refused to go into details and Seongwoo had to accept that he would receive the instructions later. So later that day he opened Daniel’s chat – which has 1000+ unread notice that sent Seongwoo a rush of guilt – and waited Daniel reply. It wasn’t long until Daniel told him when and where to go and what to do. 

“Are you sure it’s safe?” The voice that called from the driver’s seat almost cracked for not being used for so long. Seongwoo could felt the hint of concern beneath his manager’s stern facade and he was very thankful for having a kind manager that could still care for his wellbeing even after being yelled at multiple times.

“I’m confident. Thanks, hyung.” He was actually familiar with this place. Seongwoo saw his manager nodded and he got off the car immediately, not wanting to waste his precious hour.

Seongwoo walked into the front door and knocked. The door opened and revealed an old lady whose smile reminded Seongwoo of his own grandmother. She didn’t say a word to welcome Seongwoo but only gestured at the stairs. Seongwoo politely bowed and muttered a quick thank you before pacing towards the direction.

A moment later Seongwoo stood at the end of the stairs and found himself in front of another door. This one lead to an open rooftop, Seongwoo knew. The door opened with the most gentle of push.

In the middle of the rooftop a young man stood, wearing a grey hoodie. Seongwoo had known, he had also worn checkered shirt beneath a navy blue sweater. He looked at the grinning pup in front of him and once again Kang Daniel had managed to steal his smile.

_God, I missed him so much._

Seongwoo closed the door behind him without even looking away. He had started walking towards Daniel when the younger raised a finger and Seongwoo stopped in his track. Daniel put his phone atop a square wooden platform and played a song. Seongwoo had also known what he’d play. It was their song.

바보같이 아쉬움 많은 노래가  
하늘에 닿기를

As the music began they walked towards each other and stopped less than few inches apart. There would need to be some talking first, right?

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

“I know you’re not using me, Daniel. You don’t need to say sorry.”

“No. I still need to apologize.” Daniel’s eyes looked brilliant reflecting the incandescent lamp light. “I’ve hurt you.”

Seongwoo stared at the younger. He gathered his entire courage to confess. “I am hurt.” He paused. “With that news and all those things. I _am_ hurt, Daniel. But I’ve hurt you too. All those calls. I’m sorry. I _have_ missed you.” He pulled Daniel into his embrace.

_I missed you so much._

The song said it for them. Their bodies showed it for them. Daniel held him tight, as if he afraid Seongwoo would leave him. Seongwoo knew Daniel wouldn’t leave him but he hugged the other just as tight.

It felt so right.

For the first time since perhaps forever, Seongwoo felt at home.

They stayed in that position for so long, not letting go even for a split second until the song died down. By then their grip had relaxed and Seongwoo had filled himself with the warmth and smell of his home. Daniel’s head was resting peacefully on his shoulder. He was breathing memories into Seongwoo’s neck.

Seongwoo had forgotten that Daniel truly had the knack for things like this until he saw his message. They were going to meet at the place where they had once recorded a music video, one that had both of them as brothers, long lost brother to be exact. _How poignant!_

How fitting, Seongwoo thought. He had dreamed this before, to be back to when they’re still together; to the simpler, happier times, when they still shared their room, and sometimes their bed.

_And now that time had come to an end, Seongwoo._ A small voice said to him.

That’s right, Seongwoo quietly replied to himself. Daniel must had been having similar thought as well because the bigger male was trembling ever so slightly in Seongwoo’s embrace.

It was cold this late of night at Seoul. And yet Kang Daniel was shivering for a very different reason.

“We never had a chance to say a proper goodbye.” There was certainly a sad tone in his voice, but Seongwoo felt it was remarkably firm. Daniel, on the other hand, started shaking more vigorously. Seongwoo could hear the subdued sobs.

They don’t need to say it, Seongwoo thought. For whatever chemistry they’d had, they amazingly sucked at words. But their relationship thrived where words were best left not spoken. It wasn’t words that marked the start; it wouldn’t be words that mark the end.

Seongwoo slowly unlatched himself from Daniel and brought out his own phone. He kept Daniel hand in his own while selecting the song he had felt best describing how they felt of this place, of this moment.

When the music played, Seongwoo had already had Daniel back in his embrace.

_Everybody loves the things you do_

_From the way you talk_

_To the way you move_

_Everybody here is watching you_

_Cause you feel like home_

_You’re like a dream come true_

The singer couldn’t have been more precise with her words, Daniel truly felt like home, Seongwoo thought and before he realized, he had tears streaming down his cheek as well. He dared himself to kiss Daniel’s neck; that one place that in a different world should have rightfully been his.

_But if by chance you’re here alone_

_Can I have a moment_

_Before I go?_

_Cause I’ve been by myself all night long_

_Hoping you’re someone I used to know_

Ong Seongwoo had been by himself through a lot of nights now and it felt longer without Kang Daniel.

Seongwoo pulled his head from the embrace and stared at Daniel.

_You look like a movie_

_You sound like a song_

_My God, this reminds me_

_Of when we were young_

As the chorus rose, Seongwoo closed the gap between their lips. Daniel’s hand went to the back of Seongwoo’s head and pulled him closer as he savored the moment. So did Seongwoo. He wanted to remember this forever, etched it in the dearest part of his mind.

_Let me photograph you in this light_

_In case it is the last time that we might_

_Be exactly like we were before we realized_

_We were sad of getting old, it made us restless_

_It was just like a movie_

_It was just like a song_

_When we were young_

_Good bye, Kang Daniel._

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics were taken from the songs:  
> Beautiful by Wanna One  
> When We Were Young by Adele
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please send your thoughts in the comment! <3


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